People often associate self-love with narcissism. They devalue themselves in order to avoid this sin. Modesty is a beautiful virtue and so is kindness. However, loving yourself is the most beautiful virtue of all. To know that you are worthy of divinity. To know that you are divinity. That you are everything and nothing at the same time. Without self-love it is impossible to help others. We help others to help ourselves and we help ourselves so that we maybe able to help others.
Just as a prism refracts many colors, our hearts refract many emotions. Realize that you are not these emotions. These emotions are a state of your existence. These emotions can flow through you without consuming you. Life is much easier when your concentration is focused on merely being. To obtain the observer state an individual must look past personal interjections and opinions without passing judgements.
All judgements are relative to outside forces and experiences that do no necessarily attribute merit to the current situation. The ability to find oneself in a born again innocent state.